Jaded 厌倦

Since coming to China I have had constant reminders that this country is not what I imagined it to be. I left America thinking that I would have this incredible mind blowing experience; that I would be welcomed into Chinese society with open arms, ready dive right in to Chinese daily life. I can say this experience has been mind-blowing, and many times incredible, however, my experience so far has been a rocky one. The first 10 weeks in Beijing were like a riding a roller coaster for the first time. The thrill of doing something risky was terribly exciting, and then once the illusion started to fade the pressures of daily life started to tax my patience. 

Recently I had a realization that the people I’ve been surrounded by are not mere faceless Chinese; rather they are people with countless experiences and emotions. I started to see the relationships between people in a real way. The lady I buy breakfast from is not just a retailer, she has a husband, a family, a hometown, and so do all the people passing by each day. Some are friends, some are enemies, some are strangers, but each one is a person not a Chinese person. 

I was talking with a classmate a few days ago about something the Academic Director told her at lunch. They had been talking about students adjusting to life in China, and Zhu Laoshi brought up that after seeing numerous terms at CET Beijing, there were phases that many students went through while in China. In a nutshell, they were: the honeymoon phase at the beginning when everyone is excited to be in China, second is when culture shock starts to set in and students start to really dislike certain aspects of living abroad, and third happens when the student starts to feel a part of the community. She went on to describe additional phases depending on the length of time abroad, but what really caught my interest was this first part. Seeing as a semester long program is typically only 4 months, most students get to the third phase and then return home shortly thereafter. I can attest to the first and second phase, having had a hard time with culture shock myself. 

5 Dragons Pagoda at 北海公园

For about a week I felt like I was getting to a comfortable place mentally. I was feeling confident about my schoolwork and my day to day interactions outside of campus were become more second nature. I still have moments when all I want to do is going home, where everything is familiar and safe. Often times it is when I’m faced with a new challenge that I end up struggling at. An example of this would be when I decided to try exploring further from school on Friday after a test. I had a few hours before an event, so I set out to find a park I heard about. After getting off the subway, I checked a road map to make sure I walked in the right direction to the park. What should have been a short fifteen minute walk turned into nearly an hour long fiasco that ended up wasting nearly all my time. 

Good news! I did find the park. It was gorgeous; the lake in the middle was huge! There were boats, it was good weather, and I got some pictures, however, my detour made me late for the event. Long story short I got lost twice in one day, and nearly gave up finding the event all together. I told myself I was not going to another event if I was going to be late.

Fast forward a week later and I'm in the same situation again. A particularly poignant reminder of that happened when I attended a CET excursion to the National Chinese History Museum. We took the subway there without incident. The museum was very cool. After gazing at the various treasures housed there, I decided to purchase the extra tickets to see exhibits from the Louvre. I mean, when I am going to get another chance to see that kind of art! Bathing myself in such rich western culture left me feeling content as I departed the museum by myself, seeing as my classmates had already left.

Raising of Lazarus - Artist not remembered by me, Some year. :P

Large Mountain Landscape - Joos de Momper 1620

Inside the Exhibition of Selected African Sculptures

As I neared the subway stop two Chinese women approached me, initiating a conversation. They claimed to be tourists as well looking for a place to sit down and have some coffee. Let me preface this by stating that I am usually very cautious of theft, and keep a close eye on my belongings. After politely refusing, I ignored my better judgment and accepted their invitation to have coffee. As they led me to a “coffee shop” they asked me about my family, my knowledge of Chinese culture, and my impressions of China. Most of what I said were half-truths since they were strangers, but speaking passable putong hua with these charming ladies made me lower my guard.

The coffee shop was a hole in the wall near The Forbidden City. Upon entering I thought, “This is sketch”, but I followed them in and sat in a small room as a server fetched coffee and biscuits. We chatted, drank tea, coffee, wine, etc. Then when the bill came, they began to explain to me the amounts for each of the items. Tea: 500块, coffee: 90 块, wine: 350块, etc. totaling at 990块. You can imagine my shock. They spoke quickly, asking for me to use my credit card. Fortunately I’m not a complete idiot and lied saying it was just an ATM card. They then suggested that we split the bill 50%, I pay half, they pay half. All the red flags were going up in my head as this happened, but I had no idea what to do. Growing up in a medium-size, safe American town I had never experienced anything like this before, and before I knew it I had handed over 500 kuai, and one women had slipped out with the server to collect. That’s about $90! We left together, and separated when they said for me to go to the subway stop, and they were going to a nearby shopping center. I knew what had happened, but by the time I could think of anything to do to stop it, it was too late. Nothing I could have done would have changed what happened.

Shocking. Humiliating. Infuriating. I got scammed in Beijing! All the comfort I had cultivated in the past few weeks crumbled as I fumed about what had just happened to me. I must have looked like the angriest westerner the people on the train had ever seen.

These perpetual fiascos have left me feeling at a loss. The song “Jaded” by Aerosmith comes to mind when I think about my present attitude toward China. 

“Your thinking's so complicated
I've had it all up to here
But it's so overrated
Love and hated
Wouldn't trade it
Love me jaded”

I don’t know if I’ve been knocked back to phase two, or if I completely skipped phase 3, but what I feel right now it anything but friendliness toward China. My study abroad experience has been very valuable and I plan on making the most of it, but there are some aspects of Chinese culture that I simply do not like! In hindsight it could have been worse, but still disillusionment really fucking sucks. If I learned anything from this it is that relationships are a double edged sword. Good and bad people exist here too, and I met two of the bad ones. 

Once again, thank you for reading!

... 

Check out the song if you haven't heard it, and educate yourself.  

 

Stumbling Upon New Discoveries in Beijing

See the Birds Nest in person...check!

It is nearly 2 months into my study abroad in China, and I still had not visited the Olympic Stadium here in Beijing.  In 2008 China hosted the Olympics, and for the event built a sprawling complex full of stadiums, event centers, shopping outlets, and parks. Last Saturday a friend and I decided to go check it out, take pictures, and cross another Beijing tourist site off our checklist. We ventured out into the typical Beijing weather, grey skies and chill breeze, to check it out, and were pretty much satisfied by what we saw. The Birds Nest was impressive in its unique appearance, the Water Cube was pretty dull looking without brightly colored lights, and the various art pieces looked drab in the muted daylight. 

Not my pic, but that's how The Water Cube looks at night.

As with most places that attract a crowd in Beijing, merchants were set up all along the main walkways selling novelties, toys, and food items. As we walked around the complex, my friend and I chatted about the controversy of building the Olympic venues; how huge residential areas had been demolished, people forcibly removed from their homes. As we wondered around we noticed that many of the event centers were closed. Perhaps they get used for an odd conference or something, but the abandoned buildings on the perimeter of the park heralded memories of the aftermath of the Athens Olympic Games. The only thing still in use outside one of event centers was a dingy store selling faded Olympic mascots and other novelties. 

It's supposed to be a tree...or a cloud? I don't know.

Thankfully, to ease our boredom, a gaggle of teenage girl tourists from Guangzhou followed us from the subway to stare at us. Apparently my friend had left a lasting impression on them during the subway ride there. It was funny seeing him flustered and awkward as the girls fawned over him, begging for us to take their picture. Silly teenagers.
 

Sci-fi looking orb that is a part of the Experimental Cinema wing of the museum. More importantly, can I call E.T.?

It's a big green human people-makin' double helix!

I'm speechless. I probably gawked at this for 10 minutes.

Ultimately what ended up being the most valuable and exciting part of our visit was finding the China Science and Technology Museum! A curious orb on the park map caught my attention at first, so Dillon and I headed their intending to take a few pictures before leaving. After realizing what the place was we figured a trip inside could be worthwhile; and worthwhile it was! The first thing we saw when going in was a undulating wave of while spheres hung from the ceiling, followed by a massive green twisting double helix of men and women reaching out representing the bonds of a DNA strand. This was just the entrance, and what remained inside was just as cool. 

What do you do when you walk into a cell? Take a cellphie!

We ended up going into the main exhibit, which consisted of four levels, each with different themes. It starts with a massive dinosaur fossil of what I think was an Apatosaurus. We then moved from the Miracle of Life with cells, biology, genetics, and other natural science pieces to sections about sound and motion. I actually really liked this part because of an interesting tic-tac-toe game we found. Dillon played a competitive match against the AI, and nearly won. Computer brains can be pretty tricky sometimes.

Among all the exhibits ranging from Sustainable Energy, Technology and Life, Liquids, etc, there exhibit for Smart Appliances was my favorite. The green lighted walls, transparent floors, and see through machines evoked memories of elementary school field trips to the local Discovery Center. Each exhibit was interactive. You could change the piping for a ventilation system, build an earthquake resistant structure, meddle with electrical barriers, etc. I really liked how each exhibit introduced you to scientific idea in a tangible way. I played with a projection that rippled like water when you walked in it and walked inside of a cell, while my friend rode a fan propelled bicycle and pretended to be weightless in a model space module. Being there made science feel so cool! If I were a kid in Beijing I could imagine spending countless hours exploring every part of this sprawling nerdy sanctuary!

"I'm in space y'all!" -Dillon

Finding that museum reaffirmed my belief that the best places in Beijing are often not the most obvious. Often times they are hidden away, separated from the main attraction in any given area. I’m not very good at venturing out into the city by myself because I tend to get lost; however, this time I found a real gem. The whole experience of going to the Olympic stadium only to wind up in a science and tech museum made me think about what it would be like to grow up in Beijing. Would I know all the great places to visit? Would I be able to afford them? Things like the low ticket price and ease of entry made this great education space accessible, but as an American in China, my experience is surely different from that of a local Beijinger. I hope that as many kids as possible have the opportunity to visit places like this because it not only makes science and technology readily accessible, but also sparks your imagination. Science is so freaking exciting, and being in such a fun, dazzling, open, creative space really made my imagination soar; dreaming about the future. 

Going on excursions with CET is fun, but discovering the China Science and Technology Museum by myself made the experience all the more rewarding. My advice for current or future CET students is to go out of your way to experience new things. You’ll probably get lost a few times and might get upset with something new, but the places you will stumble upon will certainly surprise you. Good luck!

Its the Olympic mascots, and the children couldn't get enough of them.

IBM building in the shape of a dragon! Clever Chinese people.

"The Cube" more like "The Snore"

Fall leaves looked pretty

Those are clay tubes with flowers inside.

Me

 I honestly don't know what this is. But it lights up!

Selfie. I like the colors. They are actually plastic sheets with colored dots.

The Olympic torch!

Some random statue. This is a bad angle.

This was before I know what that building was. The Museum!

China Science and Technology Museum

Cool orb

Dinosaur bones! The lady said they were real...I'm not so sure...

This room was slanted so it felt like you were perpetually falling over

Chromosome bonding in action!

Enter...dun dun dun...THE CELL!

Pretty cool idea IMO.

Tic Tac Toe game we played.

This is the Smart Appliances section.

Giant Mushrooms?

I built a house.

Attention Air traffic control. This is Red 2 requesting permission to land.

The Predator made by a 3D printer

Said 3D printer

They had techie fun house mirrors!

This made much more sense playing with it in person.

There were art pieces like this everywhere!

Hey MOM! I'm on the Moon!

These were from the Chinese history section. I think its some astronomical device.

Quintessential Chinese ship

A Scale model of some awesome old Chinese building.

A Loom. China is big on showing off it's ancient inventions.

Water powered machines.

Those look awfully a lot like space ships. Is this Men in Black?

I wish America did more of this. Mixing art and common spaces seamlessly.

That's a lot of bells

Olympic Center really is well designed. The whole place must have been packed during the actual Olympics! Apparently its more lively at night when everything is lit up.